As he ordered another glass of wine after I nervously downed the first one, he seemed a bit nervous too; which calmed me. The ambiance at Bon Ton was perfect, despite shaking the host’s hand when I first walked in. He started taking his suit jacket off and ordered a whiskey neat.

A District of Columbia transplant, I too was his first Bumble date. He moved to Atlanta for a fresh start and new opportunities after a break-up.

We discussed our childhoods, politics, and our commonality in attending HBCUs. I know a few people who attended his alma mater; one of which I still wished I was dating. As he started naming all the people he knew from school who lived in Atlanta, I prayed he didn’t say his name.

And, he did.

Proclaimed they’ve been friends since freshman year and were close.

I chugged the rest of the second glass, nervously said I knew him too, and changed the subject.

He noticed my sudden change in behavior.

Him: “Uh, okay. I won’t bring his name up again.”
Me: “Oh. No, it’s cool! He’s cool. Anyways, so how do you like your drink.”

What were the odds?

Slim, apparently.

I sipped a third glass of wine as we discussed more politics and current events.

Around 10:30pm, he suggested we go to Aurum, a lounge in Midtown, but it was getting late. I really didn’t want to go out, but he asked if I was cool if we headed to his place and finish drinking wine there.

I agreed and we drove to his apartment in Buckhead.

The red wine started to hit.

As we get settled at his place, he poured us two glasses of Shiraz and turned on a slow jam playlist. Jenga® was placed in the center of his kitchen island and he began to take the pieces out of the box.

He claimed he was a Jenga® champion, as mentioned in his Bumble bio, and I told him to prove it. But of course we couldn’t just play the normal way. He wanted to play for clothes.

I started counting down the minutes until I made a run for it.

I agreed, but knew that after I took my blazer and shoes off, I was going home.

Sip wine.

Placed Jenga® piece atop of one another.

Sip wine.

Laughed about the other person shaking.

Sip wine.

Crash.

I won the first round and he took his shirt off.

We played three more rounds and now, we’re both drunk. He lost every match-up and he’s down to his wife-beater and dress slacks.

I had to get out of there.

Before he got a chance to stack the Jenga® pieces again, his friend’s wife calls him.

It’s 1:30am.

He picked up and I heard her crying and yelling about how her husband hadn’t made it home yet.

As he’s attempting to console her, I realized this is my exit.

I put my blazer on and mouthed, “Imma go!”

He shook his head and came over to kiss me on the cheek.

I stepped away and walked to the door. He put his pointer finger up to tell me to wait while he went to his closet and grabbed his robe.

He hung up on the wife and walked me to my car.

He told me how great of a time he had and gave me the sloppiest kiss I’d ever received in my entire life.

I get in my car and sat for a second.

Disgusted.

What in the hell was that?

I called my friend who I knew would be up to tell him about the date and to talk to someone while I drove home.

We laughed as I stumbled into my apartment and drunkenly ate popcorn before I went to bed.

A week went by before we made arrangements to meet again and have a sober date.

I decided to give this another shot because I was bored and the thought of meeting someone new gave me anxiety.

We met at Little Trouble and he had a sake shot waiting for me. After we took the shot, I decided it would be best to tell him about dating his friend for three months; prior to meeting him.

After I told him, he attempted to make me feel comfortable about the potential situation between he and I.

Him: I figured something happened between you two. But, I don’t care because if you were important or he was taking you seriously, he would have brought you up before. He never mentioned a chick named ‘Jasmine‘ he was talking to, so I feel comfortable pursuing this.

Blank stare.

I knew he and I were casual, but to hear someone else say it that direct definitely hurt my feelings.

And it definitely didn’t win him any points by telling me he was cool with talking to me because his friend was only smashing me.

I was taken aback by what he said but, kept it cool because, accurate.

We ended up going back to his place after the date and played one last battle of strip Jenga®. He started playing Pretty Ricky and it was at that moment I knew I’d never speak to him again.

We played a couple of rounds, but I yawned and made an excuse as to why I had to head home early. He walked me to my car, gave me a normal kiss, and I drove off.

I went home that night and started frantically swiping on Bumble to match with someone new. I swiped right on a guy who seemed enthusiastic to meet me after he passed the ranch vs. blue cheese test.

But, he started asking me questions that immediately turned me off.

Him: Oh, so you were a journalism major in undergrad? What are your favorite news publications you like to read?

News publications?

That I like?

To read?

He wanted to meet that weekend and against my better judgement, I agreed. That decision ended up being the worst date I’d ever been on in my life.