Starting to process how I felt since launching the blog, I finally settled after traveling from Washington DC for Howard University’s Homecoming and Norfolk, VA for Norfolk State University’s Homecoming.

Overwhelmed, I felt caught in a continuous loop that I desperately wanted to end.

Hearing from Ring Pop® Guy was expected, but receiving messages from my ex’s friends and nonstop subbing from him on Instagram was something I had not anticipated.

He was in a relationship, so I figured he moved on and wouldn’t be bothered with anything I had to say. Especially because I didn’t consider this would trigger him -

I spent my entire late-twenties focused on him and how to make him the focal point of my life. I wanted whatever he wanted. His happiness brought me happiness. I saw my future in him; a husband, a baby and a cute little house. After being by his side through a major heart surgery, I didn’t think anything could break us.
Then he broke up with me.
Three weeks shy of my 30th birthday.

Not once did I belittle him.

Not once did I call him out of his name.

I was bewildered.

As the weeks went by, I was sent screenshots about him constantly talking shit about me.

Which I found odd because I blocked him, his girlfriend, his friends, her friends, and his family from my Instagram.

A block party.

From September to November, he commented on every blog post I published.

In an Instagram post I wrote, “The blog is my truth”.

And in a story he responded, “There’s a difference between ‘MY’ truth and the truth!”.

Trying to move forward, I decided to celebrate my 32nd birthday in North Georgia vineyard hopping.

Thirty and thirty-one were both painful transitionary years.

Drinking bottle after bottle of wine, this birthday finally felt worth celebrating.

A week after my birthday, he proposed to his girlfriend.

The night of their proposal, a barrage of Instagram stories directed towards me were sent:

Him: Scorpios nahhhhhhhh
Him: Definitely dodged a bullet with shorty
Him: I gotta say everything works out how it should. Y’all better stop staying in a relationship that ain’t fulfilling. Fuck around and miss out on a wife/husband.

And I took that personally.

In shock and disrespected, I started feeling embarrassed... for him.

For her.

That on the night of their engagement, her fiancé decided to not publicly express how much he loved her, but how grateful he was about not being with his ex.

That he decided to make a night celebrating their love and future union into a rant about trouncing me.

How dreadful.

After their engagement, I decided to find a therapist to finally end this saga once and for all.

I started feeling like a burden to the ones closest to me. Sharing my depression and inability to move on after two years was draining, and I felt like my friends were drained too.

I deserved to live a life that didn’t trigger me or allow things he did to trigger me.

I was ready to bloom after cultivating for the last two years.

Before 2019 was over and the decade was coming to an end, he decided to rant about me one last time. My friend sent me a screenshot of his story -

Him: This decade was like the first full adult decade for the kid and it was a ten year heavyweight fight. Lost a lot, gained even more… AND DODGED A BULLET IN THE PROCESS.

After the constant disrespect since September, I was ready to confront him once and for all.

I unblocked him and sent a message:

Me: Let me say this since you’re looking for a response. You and I both know that our relationship simply ran its course and that you didn’t dodge any bullets when it came to me. I was gladly there for you during some rough moments in your life; and vice versa. I’ve never spoken ill about you. Even though you’re telling people I’m bashing you in my blog. I haven’t bashed you, not once. I haven’t said anything negative about you, at all. Not sure why you’re continuously sneak-dissin me when you’re engaged, and seemingly happy. I would like to believe you have better things to do instead of subbing me for months on end. I’ve done nothing to you and I wish you well.

After a back and forth thread of him vehemently denying talking about me, he insisted that at some point between 2010 and 2019, he dodged real bullets.

I cackled at the thought of him dodging bullets like Neo in The Matrix.

The conversation ended with me finally saying what needed to be said -

Me: I sent the screenshots to let you know that you look pitiful. Everyone knows you’re talking about me. It’s ok. It’s not an opinion, It’s a fact. You’ve been spending your time reading my stories and responding to them via subbing me. I know you feel a way. Again, you don’t have to sub me anymore. Go be great and stop being bitter about a relationship you left. Give it to God, beloved.
Him: Shut that shit up
Me: K

The end of a year.

The end of a decade.

The end of an era.

After a quick trip to Puerto Rico to relax and release, I was ready for 2020 and everything a new decade had to offer. To end 2019, I decided to take an impromptu trip to Houston for New Years Eve to bring in the new year with my girlfriends in a new city.

Little did I know, 2020 would bring life-altering change and an unnecessary moment with Ring Pop® Guy to start the year off horribly.